Church, Music, and some other stuff

3 Tips to Keeping People Off of the Church Sound Board

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe nerve of people to think that they are entitled to freely adjust knobs and sliders on our sound boards…Right?  After we’ve slaved for hours to get the right sounds and levels!

And for all of you who’ve been cussed out by Rob the sound nerd in church for messing with his system, this post is also for you!

We’ve all been there.  Sharon is in the worship center having kids hand signing practice when she realizes she needs music.  So she takes it upon herself to twist, turn, stab, and light on fire every knob and slider on the board until she can play “Diving In,” by Steven Curtis Chapman over the sound system.

Assuming you don’t have a digital board and you can’t just recall or undo all of the damage that Sharon and the “Happy Hands” have caused, I’ve developed 3 tips to keep all of you sound people’s frustration at an all time minimum.

1. Implement a scheduling system

Introduce a  system where every practice/rehearsal/and service is scheduled.  Why? So it can be arranged for either a person who knows what the heck they are doing when comes to sound to be there, or for someone to have the sound system already set up and ready to go for whatever and whoever is using it.

Sharon can get on with practice and Rob the sound nerd can build his robots (or whatever he does) in peace.

2. Place a covering over the board

I know, you’ll still have those who see a cover as even more of an invitation to wreck things, but for most normal human beings, it’s a good indication to not mess with something.

Try even placing a warning sign on top that says something along the lines of “If you touch this, God will strike you down where you stand.”  This approach has worked well for me and my guitar gear.

3.  Place a Nickleback CD on the board

No one will go close to a Nickleback CD.  Other suggestions include, spikes, fake blood, snakes, Natalie Grant cd’s, and electrical wire.  The Nickleback CD has always worked best though.

Have more suggestions on ways to keep people off of the church sound Board?  Leave a Comment below!

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  1. Anonymous

    Take a photo of your settings with your smart phone as back-up, since undoubtedly someone is going to mess with it…

  2. way2walk

    Shalon, you forgot barbed wire. Just a touch, not too much.

    • Shalon

      Haha some christians are known to crawl right under barbed wire

      • SoundGuy

        Some Christians are known to BE the barbed wire.
        There are better ways to ease YOUR frustration than being the “don’t touch my stuff” guy.